1 January 2019 — Libra

Today you will be visited by a small, thin, long haired creature claiming to be some sort of Nordic elf. It will claim to have the power to give you three wishes. But here’s the deal, due to a fluke in the strictures of time, just for today there are no restrictions on these wishes. I mean none! Most people when confronted with this assume the usual caveats, but today they’ve been suspended! So go ahead and wish for a million wishes. No! Blow the wish world out of the water and wish for infinite wishes! Be bold and ask for one of the big infinities like the powerset of the reals of wishes! Ask for True Love! Ask to be Omniscient! The sky’s the limit! Libra, you’ll be really tempted to ask to be a sparkly vampire with loads of sparkly vampire friends. Don’t do it. OK? I’m serious. Just for today, think outside the box.